For those of you who visit my blog to see my crafting you may not want to read further but I am feeling very low at the moment and thought that if I got some things off my chest it may help. As some of you know my mother passed away unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. Despite being unwell with a form of dementia caused by her diabetes (thats another story) her passing was a great shock and although I know she did not suffer and would have wanted to go this way it is still hard to come to terms with. My elderly father is staying with us as they lived some 2 1/2 hrs away and I do not want him to be alone at this time. Well the last 2 weeks have been full of funeral plans and toing and froing to my parents house. Our hurt has been added to by the fact that a neighbour who has been awkward with my parents over the last couple of years, who knew my mother had passed away and that the funeral was going to happen, went and parked his car outside my parents house and cleared off on holiday! How can people be so cruel as to deprive my mother of going to her final resting place from her own home? These neighbours have abused the elderly people in the street arguing with them on more than one occasion but the strange thing is that the woman works for "Help the Aged"(or whatever it is called now), so how does that work I ask myself? Of course everyone is too scared to stand up to them and my dad has had enough on, caring for my mother to get into any arguments with them. We shall have to bite our tongue over this now as I don't want them to start on my father again if he is ever at the house alone!
To top it all my mothers brother will be at the funeral, no doubt showing crocodile tears for my mother. This man hasn't been to visit my mother and the last time he saw her, he stood behind her chair and talked over her totally ignoring her! Sorry but he had better watch is tongue tomorrow or he might find out just what I think of him!!!!
I am not looking for your sympathy in writing this but just needed an outlet for my frustrations. Thank you for all the messages and cards that I have received and although I don't always respond to the messages I do read and take comfort from them.
Not sure when I will write again but thank you all for being there!
Hugs Alyson x
NEW WEBSITE!
5 years ago
Dear Alyson
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about you lots since hearing about your Mum, oh Alyson, I am so so very sorry. I hope you got my message and card, although not handmade I'm afraid due to everything being packed away, but I'm sure you will forgive that.
Alyson, I am so glad you have your blog which you can use as an outlet anytime for letting off steam and a way of helping you deal with things, we're your friends and remember we're always hear to listen.
I wanted to mail you again to see how you were, as I've been a little worried about you, but thought it would be best to wait to hear from you first as I know things must be so very difficult for you right now.
Regarding those awful neighbours, oh Alyson, some people are just so insensitive, I will never for the life of me understand the way the minds of some people work.
Please try not to let them upset you Alyson, they're just not worth it. Perhaps this is something you can try sorting out at a later point, but for now, just concentrate on you and your family and those that matter, and just try and take each day at a time.
I think when we loose someone so close to us, apart from all the mixed bag of emotions and saddness we feel, it also upsets us to see others show concern when it seemed they did'nt really bother when the person was alive.
I've seen this happen in my own family, and at the time felt very angry too. But as time passed I felt good and happy in my own mind knowing that I had nothing to feel bad about, as I had been there and loved that person.
I think often these people who only ever seem to show emotion when it's too late, are just filled with feelings of guilt, which is something they will have to live with Alyson, not you.
I'm sure you were a wonderful, caring and kind daughter to your Mum Alyson, and you will feel happy in your own mind knowing that.
I will be thinking of you Alyson and all your family. Sending you a million sparkles and loads of hugs and if ever you need a chat or let off steam either or here or via mail you have my e-mail address if ever you need it.
Thinking of you and sending
much love and special hugs to you all!!
Suzie xxxxx
Dear Alyson
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about you lots since hearing about your Mum, oh Alyson, I am so so very sorry. I hope you got my message and card, although not handmade I'm afraid due to everything being packed away, but I'm sure you will forgive that.
Alyson, I am so glad you have your blog which you can use as an outlet anytime for letting off steam and a way of helping you deal with things, we're your friends and remember we're always hear to listen.
I wanted to mail you again to see how you were, as I've been a little worried about you, but thought it would be best to wait to hear from you first as I know things must be so very difficult for you right now.
Regarding those awful neighbours, oh Alyson, some people are just so insensitive, I will never for the life of me understand the way the minds of some people work.
Please try not to let them upset you Alyson, they're just not worth it. Perhaps this is something you can try sorting out at a later point, but for now, just concentrate on you and your family and those that matter, and just try and take each day at a time.
I think when we loose someone so close to us, apart from all the mixed bag of emotions and saddness we feel, it also upsets us to see others show concern when it seemed they did'nt really bother when the person was alive.
I've seen this happen in my own family, and at the time felt very angry too. But as time passed I felt good and happy in my own mind knowing that I had nothing to feel bad about, as I had been there and loved that person.
I think often these people who only ever seem to show emotion when it's too late, are just filled with feelings of guilt, which is something they will have to live with Alyson, not you.
I'm sure you were a wonderful, caring and kind daughter to your Mum Alyson, and you will feel happy in your own mind knowing that.
I will be thinking of you Alyson and all your family. Sending you a million sparkles and loads of hugs and if ever you need a chat or let off steam either or here or via mail you have my e-mail address if ever you need it.
Thinking of you and sending
much love and special hugs to you all!!
Suzie xxxxx
Alyson, I am so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. I know you are strong, with a beautiful family and will get through this. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Feel free to vent anytime, nothing good comes from holding things in.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you and your family xx
oh Alyson, I've been thinking of you a lot these past few weeks...
ReplyDeletewell done on posting and emailing people as it does help to get things off your chest (as it did with me and my dad last year). I'm sending you millions of sparkles too to help you through these tough days ahead, and pleased don't let those awful people get to you, they're not worth it...
remember we are all here for you whenever you need us, pleased don't ever hesitate to get in touch with any of us, as I know you have to be extra strong because of the children and your dad...
please take care of yourself...
hugs
maria xxxx
Dear Alyson, I am so sorry to hear your sad news, please know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou are quite right to get out all of your frustrations, your blog is a safe place to do that and all of your friends here support you i'm sure.
Your father is lucky to have you, please take care of yourself as well as your family.
Hugs,
Felicia xx
Alyson, I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. I cannot imagine all that you are going through, but please know that I truly care. Also sorry to hear that the neighbor is making things more difficult for your dear family. Sending big hugs, Robyn xx
ReplyDeleteAlyson,
ReplyDeletelet it all out, keeping it in will only bring you down, and after reading your post im sure you need all the strength you have, I wouldn be a very religious person, but when times are bad St Francis prayer kind of helps me
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life
it was a prayer said at my great grandmothers funeral, and since then I feel great comfort reading it
my thoughts are with you during this difficult time
Clare
Hello Alyson, just popped on your blog to send lots of ((hugs)) to you.
ReplyDeleteJackie x
Allison...so sorry to hear of the passing of your mama. I am sure your hands are full and that you are covered with pain. Stand tall knowing hthat you and your mama know she would have rather gone like this than to have suffered. Be sure to lean on your friends, and above all, do not let those neighbors RUIN any piece of your day. THEY ARE NOT worth it doll, in any way, shape nor form. That is THEIR problem NOT yours. Stay clear and concentrate on your families heart and your own. Remember to be good to yourself and take some time in doing so.
ReplyDeleteWith warmest sympathy...
Hi Alyson, Tracey in Nz here, sorry to hear all your upsets and the passing of your ma, blessings your way, keep your chin up and try to smile, hugs and smiles your way Tracey
ReplyDeleteHello Alyson. I have just found your blog and im sorry to hear of your current grief. I do not know you or you I but I too have experienced losing my mother and it does get easier sweetie. I take comfort in knowing my dear ma is no longer in pain and with our maker. She always told me.... she would be home one day and she would also be nearer me than she would if she were living down the road. I often smell her perfume and feel a real peace. I know shes's here with me just like your mother has never been closer to you than she is now.
ReplyDeleteTake care sweetie.
Hugs
Ali.xx